Heartbroken daughter’s plea to be Care Partner for mum in NI nursing home

Martina Ferguson’s mother Ursula Derry suffers from Alzheimer’s and Vascular Dementia and is in Sandringham Care Home in Portadown.

From visiting her mum several times a day and tucking her into bed every night, Martina is distraught at being unable to hug and kiss her at all.

“I miss my mum. She has spent the last nine months without any hugs and kisses. I never thought I would feel I’m grieving the loss of someone who is still alive.

“My mum means the world to me and I don’t want her to be alone – I want my mum to spend the last chapter of her life with dignity, comfortably and with me and family.”

Martina, who grew up in Portadown, said she has seen her mum through her bedroom window and on the front porch of the care home but feels that her mum needs her human touch.

Ursula met her late husband, John Aloysius Derry, in the 1960s and moved to Portadown when they got married.

Martina said her mother was first diagnosed with dementia in 2008 and the family nursed her at home for several years. She moved into Sandringham in 2013 and soon after Martina set up a Relatives Support Group.

“In the last couple of years my mother has become non-verbal, she can’t clean her own nose, she can’t dress herself, she can’t stand or walk anymore. However, she can still smile, giggle and cry.

“Due to her advanced late-stage dementia she relies heavily on human touch and tactile sensory,” said Martina. “My mother is very vulnerable and I have been her advocate for many years.

“I, like many other families, have not been allowed into the bedrooms of our loved ones for nine months now.”

Martina, who points out that there has never been a blanket ban on visiting care homes, said: “It’s been a very difficult time. I have been visiting my mother’s bedroom window – trying to talk to her through the window which has been absolutely heart-breaking and very distressing. She doesn’t understand why I’m outside and not by her side.”

Martina said she had welcomed government guidance on September 23rd which introduced and outlined Care Partners for residents and families in care homes across NI.

However Martina felt she was being put off by the care home and began, with others, to campaign for more access to their loved ones.

“I contacted my mother’s care home to ask about the Care Partner arrangements and was advised they were ‘currently engaged with HSC Trusts and DoH around the role of Care Partners’.

“In my opinion I thought the Care Partner role was clearly outlined in the Government Guidance and it was a very simple concept and role to implement for our elderly.

“I engaged with Chief Nursing Officer (CNO) for NI, Charlotte McArdle and Chief Social Work Office (CSWO) for NI, Sean Holland, regarding Care Partners for our elderly in Care Homes.

“Myself, along with Juliann McNally who runs Care Advice and Support NI (CHASNI) and other families engaged with one another and attended several weekly virtual workshops with DOH, RQIA, PHA, HSCB and Commissioner for Older People (COPNI).

“Myself along with other families then decided to come together at the steps of Stormont on November 21 – to stand together to support one another and remind everyone of our very vulnerable in care homes – it was to highlight the heartache that families are living with every day since care homes have locked down their residents.

“We felt we need to end this loneliness and the emotional turmoil for our loved ones in care homes.

“It is sad to see that many care homes across NI are all working differently. We were advised last week by HSCB that approximately 25% of care homes across NI have implemented Care Partners. At the time of writing this my mother’s care home has not implemented Care Partners yet. Questions must be asked - if 25% of care homes have implemented Care Partners then why have the rest not?

“In fact I haven’t been allowed into my mother’s bedroom since nine months ago.

“We have been supported by The Steve Miller Dementia Care Campaign, Rights for Residents and the Care Campaign for The Vulnerable.”